Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Leaving the Bad

I had stopped posting on this blog because I reached a point where I couldn't leave the bad behind me.

And because this blog is about leaving the bad behind I felt like I couldn't post until I could overcome the bad.

Thought I'd post and update.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Fog, Monsters, and Bears... oh my

I didn't realize what it meant to fortify oneself until I awoke that morning. 
I've read enough books set in the early 1700/1800 England. Where one fortifies oneself with a cup of tea. But the concept never really hit me until I awoke with a deep ache in my ribs. 
It was a cold morning, the type of cold that reaches your bones. 
I woke up to this...

Washington, the state that makes you wonder if you're in a horror movie. No, wait that's Maine. 

I love living in the great state of Washington. But I can truly say that I didn't know what fog was until moving here. 

A foggy day for me growing up was having a smell fog roll through. Due to the manure pastures and the reasons that fog exists some mornings growing up in rural Indiana involved fog. The fog in Washington is triple that of what I grew up with. It redefined the word fog.

One day driving passing the Snohomish River I stated to my husband, man it's foggy. He chuckled. He's experienced the fog more than I have on his way to work. And we chuckled that it was the type of fog that if we passed by some girl with long black hair and in white long dress we wouldn't stop.

One day going to get my husband I actually questioned if they were making the sequel to the Mist. And the fact I was headed towards base didn't help. I was expecting some sort of monster to walk out of the fog.

Sea Mist is something that I enjoy. The difference between a mist and a fog is how far you can see. What I define as a sea mist is the mist that creeps along the shore and you can still make out the boats and other objects. 

In other words... I enjoy the fog. But does it have to be so creepy?

There are some days where the fog is just a beautiful opportunity to take photos. And there are others where you just want to hide under the cover because you know there are monsters there.

The fact that around me are mountains. I wake up every morning with a beautiful view of Mount Baker. Wherever I drive I see mountains. 

Mountains and fog... cue in the howling noises. I expect wolves and bears. Little Red Riding Hood, things like that. Because of the stories I grew up reading.

Living in the great state of Washington winter has been redefined of me. When I think of snow I hope for a lot and praying my snowboard gets here soon. Where we live it's kind of a cocoon. A safe place away from the snow but where there is rain and fog.

I love living here and the adventures that come living in Washington. Just please no horror movies out of this state. Leave it to Maine.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Friendly Fire

Should you be judged for having a friend?

Say you're friends with someone. But one of your other friends doesn't get along. Should you be judged because of that friendship?

I am calling this Friendly Fire. Because honestly that is what it is.

I am friends with someone. We'll say Abigail. Abigail and I aren't truly close. Just when we see each other we are friendly. We understand each other. And if I need something I can go to Abigail and get it. If I need someone to talk to I can go to Abigail. But we don't have each other's numbers so it's just when we run into each other.

Now say I am also friends with Beth and Sam. Well Beth and Sam hate Abigail for x, y, and z reasons. Those reasons you understand. But haven't experienced so you can't agree. But Beth and Sam hate that you are friends with Abigail. When you are around Beth and Sam and stumble upon Abigail there is some hostility.

Say I haven't confronted Beth and Sam. But they realize that I know Abigail and talk to her. Would you be so hostel when around each other? Or would you be friendly.

This is why I say Friendly Fire. I am try to be around people who are my friends. But I am under fire.

Sometimes I don't know what to do. I honestly don't want to look at Beth and Sam and tell them "really I can be friends with more than one person" or "just because I am friends with someone doesn't change who I am".

It gets to the point you want to take a step back. You haven't wanted to say anything because honestly SHOULD YOU?

I've honestly had people dump me as a friend because of what someone else has said. Hasn't been true. I've had some people, who I laugh cause they brag they are Christians, who talk smack about me that isn't true. And then someone else decides they don't want to be my friend. Okay those aren't true friends.

I have split my friends into friends (those people I call true friends) and acquaintances (those who leave you for the above example). If I call you my friend, you are my friend. If I say just someone I know, you are an acquaintance.

I don't want to dumb someone as a friend just because of this Friendly Fire. I don't care if you get along with them. I am their friend for a reason and I won't change my mind by what you say.

I hold friendships dear.

Do you?

Monday, November 24, 2014

You See Everything

Click Play first :)

 When I first heard the Alanis Morissette song Everything it hit close to home. When I watched the music video it hit closer to home.

I actually did what Morissette did in the video. I took a pair of scissors and cut my hair. I then went to the salon and got a pixie cut. I took a photo of the hair in the trash. I wasn't shy of what I did. I admitted it.

I changed my looks for ME.

I then decided to take this one step further...

I got a tattoo. "You see all my light and you love all my dark" Deciding on highlighting the words light and love.

I admitted to myself when I cut my hair I had a lot of dark in me. I mean that is why I have the blog Miles Behind Me. Because I want to leave the dark way behind me. But sometimes you can't.

The whole reason I decided to date my husband was because for the whole time we have known each other he hasn't care about my dark, he's only seen my light. We met when I first moved to Virginia and became friends. We were friends of friends and had met. He was my friend, then became my best friend.

He didn't know I had the tattoo. He didn't realize I had it until we started dating. And I explained it to him. And little did I know he fit the tattoo to a T.

So while it may seem odd I get this tattoo I know what it means. It means so much to me. Just as much as the other tattoos that I have. That I've marked my skin despite my religion due to what the tattoos mean to me. It was worth it.

Every tattoo I have means something important. Just like the next I plan on getting.

Yes I am a tattoo person.

Saturday, November 22, 2014


I was knee deep into writing a book. The doorbell rang so I ran down the stairs to answer the door. And then I saw the neighbors carrying Easter baskets.

And for that brief moment I had to ask myself... What time of year is it?

For that brief moment my eyes laid upon the Easter baskets the date slipped by, the fact that Thanksgiving was around the corner was gone, the fact I was listening to Christmas music on the radio while I was out was gone... Those Easter baskets made me question everything.

It wasn't just the Easter basket. There was the grass, the eggs. EASTER STUFF!!

And my brain checked out. I barely even invited the person inside. My mind was EASTER.

My husband came home, it was his friend. I ran upstairs and checked my phone. Okay, November 22. It has been November 22 the whole day. I knew the date. My wedding anniversary was yesterday. Was so  happy yesterday.

But that Easter stuff made me question everything. Made me question reality.

Although we know how things work now a days. Christmas stuff is already out. People have their trees up. Christmas Christmas Christmas. Even though Thanksgiving is around the corner.

Can we please take it one holiday at a time?

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

My Veterans Day

I woke up late.

Actually my sailor let me sleep in. He told me to sleep in. Told me to stay in bed until noon.

So I did.

He went out with a shipmate and took advantage of a free breakfast. Thanks IHOP for doing that.

He told me he had a surprise. And I was treated with two cupcakes from my favorite cupcake place.

Then went out to eat at Olive Garden. I was treated to a nice glass of wine. Told to order wine.

Thank you to those who serve our country.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Did you vote? I didn't

I can honestly tell you the last time I voted it was for Gore.

What can I say. I'm a Republican. Err I was. I was a straight ticket Republican. 

Watching the elections that year something deep settled inside of me.

My vote doesn't count.

When it comes down to a Presidential election my vote doesn't count. Your vote doesn't count.

I don't believe in the electoral college voting system.

So I don't vote. I haven't registered to vote since Gore lost.

Do I care about what goes on in our country? Yes.

I don't withhold my vote because I don't care about who represents me. No I do.

I don't vote because I'm standing behind up for a belief that my vote counts. And each vote for President of the United States should count.

You see I'm from Indiana and Indiana is a Republican state. But say the Democrats are in power. Everyone in Indiana votes for a Republican but the Democrats have power. So thus all of Indiana electoral votes go to the Democratic President Elect. Even though the Republicans have said they want a Republican.

If the state is mixed you can't split the vote.

And don't get me started on those who paper vote and mail it in...

I don't vote because I don't believe we truly live in a democratic union where the people get the say of what they truly want.

We don't truly have a free country.

We may have certain freedoms I am grateful for.

I suppose you can say this ends with "I have a dream".

I have a dream one day my vote will count. And when it does. I'll vote.