You See Everything

Click Play first :)

 When I first heard the Alanis Morissette song Everything it hit close to home. When I watched the music video it hit closer to home.

I actually did what Morissette did in the video. I took a pair of scissors and cut my hair. I then went to the salon and got a pixie cut. I took a photo of the hair in the trash. I wasn't shy of what I did. I admitted it.

I changed my looks for ME.

I then decided to take this one step further...

I got a tattoo. "You see all my light and you love all my dark" Deciding on highlighting the words light and love.

I admitted to myself when I cut my hair I had a lot of dark in me. I mean that is why I have the blog Miles Behind Me. Because I want to leave the dark way behind me. But sometimes you can't.

The whole reason I decided to date my husband was because for the whole time we have known each other he hasn't care about my dark, he's only seen my light. We met when I first moved to Virginia and became friends. We were friends of friends and had met. He was my friend, then became my best friend.

He didn't know I had the tattoo. He didn't realize I had it until we started dating. And I explained it to him. And little did I know he fit the tattoo to a T.

So while it may seem odd I get this tattoo I know what it means. It means so much to me. Just as much as the other tattoos that I have. That I've marked my skin despite my religion due to what the tattoos mean to me. It was worth it.

Every tattoo I have means something important. Just like the next I plan on getting.

Yes I am a tattoo person.

Easter?

I was knee deep into writing a book. The doorbell rang so I ran down the stairs to answer the door. And then I saw the neighbors carrying Easter baskets.

And for that brief moment I had to ask myself... What time of year is it?

For that brief moment my eyes laid upon the Easter baskets the date slipped by, the fact that Thanksgiving was around the corner was gone, the fact I was listening to Christmas music on the radio while I was out was gone... Those Easter baskets made me question everything.

It wasn't just the Easter basket. There was the grass, the eggs. EASTER STUFF!!

And my brain checked out. I barely even invited the person inside. My mind was EASTER.

My husband came home, it was his friend. I ran upstairs and checked my phone. Okay, November 22. It has been November 22 the whole day. I knew the date. My wedding anniversary was yesterday. Was so  happy yesterday.

But that Easter stuff made me question everything. Made me question reality.

Although we know how things work now a days. Christmas stuff is already out. People have their trees up. Christmas Christmas Christmas. Even though Thanksgiving is around the corner.

Can we please take it one holiday at a time?

My Veterans Day

I woke up late.

Actually my sailor let me sleep in. He told me to sleep in. Told me to stay in bed until noon.

So I did.

He went out with a shipmate and took advantage of a free breakfast. Thanks IHOP for doing that.

He told me he had a surprise. And I was treated with two cupcakes from my favorite cupcake place.

Then went out to eat at Olive Garden. I was treated to a nice glass of wine. Told to order wine.

Thank you to those who serve our country.

Did you vote? I didn't

I can honestly tell you the last time I voted it was for Gore.

What can I say. I'm a Republican. Err I was. I was a straight ticket Republican. 

Watching the elections that year something deep settled inside of me.

My vote doesn't count.

When it comes down to a Presidential election my vote doesn't count. Your vote doesn't count.

I don't believe in the electoral college voting system.

So I don't vote. I haven't registered to vote since Gore lost.

Do I care about what goes on in our country? Yes.

I don't withhold my vote because I don't care about who represents me. No I do.

I don't vote because I'm standing behind up for a belief that my vote counts. And each vote for President of the United States should count.

You see I'm from Indiana and Indiana is a Republican state. But say the Democrats are in power. Everyone in Indiana votes for a Republican but the Democrats have power. So thus all of Indiana electoral votes go to the Democratic President Elect. Even though the Republicans have said they want a Republican.

If the state is mixed you can't split the vote.

And don't get me started on those who paper vote and mail it in...

I don't vote because I don't believe we truly live in a democratic union where the people get the say of what they truly want.

We don't truly have a free country.

We may have certain freedoms I am grateful for.

I suppose you can say this ends with "I have a dream".

I have a dream one day my vote will count. And when it does. I'll vote.

Sun, Dear Sun, Where Did You Go?

Dear Sun,

Oh my dearest Sun. The bright object that raises in the sky that defines morning from night. I miss thee.

It truly feels nice when the sun finally peaks from the clouds and there is a sunny day. But lately the weather has been gloomy. But what did I expect. I mean we live in the PNW (Pacific Northwest).

Some days I feel like I am chasing the sun. Because I can see it peaking from behind the clouds and I know it's there. I yearn for it to be there.

I miss summer.

I guess that is what I mean to say.

The warmth of my skin.

Hello Fall... or what I call early winter. 40 degree days that make me want to stay in bed. The fact that by 6pm night has come and YAWN it feels like it too. Pitch black dark.

My first winter in the PNW is starting out grand lol.

Vitamin D anyone?

Selfish?

Katie Hurley recently wrote this article on Huffington Posthttp://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5672519?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

Entitled There is Nothing Selfish About Suicide. 

I first applaud you Katie for writing that article. The amount of strength you must of had to come forward and share your story.

Something I agree with Katie is. Unless you've been there, don't judge!! 

It's hard to stare at a dark abyss wondering where your life will go. Realizing your life is in a million pieces and you have NO idea where to begin picking up those pieces, because they are cutting you. They are hurting you. And the darkness feels so good. You don't want to leave.

Dear Airlines, Be On Time

Dear Airline Companies,

Be on time!!

When I arrived at the airport 2 hours before my flight left I expected the airline company of Frontier to be on time, as stated on their website. 

Nope! 

I stood in line as I watched them do various items, ignoring me as I was first in line, not acknowledging or anything. 10-15 minutes go by before I get told one of the 3 people behind the counter can help me. The friend that was with  me stated out loud how rude this was, then I was helped.

I check my luggage and make my way to the gate where my flight is to take off.

I zoomed through security through a speed I didn't expect. Having traveled since a young age and experiencing different levels of air port security (and mind you being 16 and not being able to speak any other language than English and being instructed in a language I didn't understand) this time was a breeze. Not even 4 minutes.

I arrive to my gate and read the dreaded words of "flight delayed" *insert horror scream*. I am wondering what perhaps several hundred (maybe more I don't know) wonder a day. "Am I going to make my connecting flight?"

I am wanting what typical people want after being away from home for a period of time. I want to be HOME. 

I've been away from home helping out my best friend for a period of time. I just want to get home and wrap my arms around my husband, go to my home, see my dogs, and be in the bed that I haven't been in in a while. 

But I am staring at a screen that says delayed. i

I am then watching the plane that I am to take pull in and the people that were on the plane disembark. I look at the time and I freak. 

So I asked Frontier on Twitter. And this is the response. 

Delayed 57 minutes, nearly an hour. That is how much time I had between flights... That was my layover. 

Now each airport has a specific amount of time between each layover so that the person can make their flight comfortably. 

But here I am sprinting in an airport I have no clue about. I couldn't find my flight. I noticed the coffee line didn't have a line and I grabbed a cup of coffee. I then went to find out where my flight was. 

When I arrived I boarded my plane. Yup. Got there luckily in time. Sat down and was on my way. 

I almost missed my flight. It was cutting it close. Why? Due to the crew of Frontier. Even Frontier admitted it. 

And the crew with my previous take off wouldn't shut the door... Why? Because someone was too drunk/intoxicated. They discussed this where everyone could hear. Finally shutting the door after 3 people who weren't assigned seats finally sat down. 

I used to love to fly. But it's become more of a hassle.