Monday, December 2, 2013

Your Heart is Where Your Mind Wanders

My first Fourth of July in the Hampton Roads and I was excited because I had plans. I had been dating someone over the summer and we had plans.  Of course these plans were cancelled the day of the Fourth and I decided to become single.  I had also opened up my spare bedroom to a friend so she could come out and visit her now husband who was stationed in the area. 

He was new to the area as well and it was his first Fourth of July in Hampton Roads.  He was busy with school, not being out of boot camp long.  He was friends with the above husband since boot camp.  And also in the middle of a divorce. 

When we were introduced it was a quick introduction.  This is Chelle and that is Nick type, only of course it was his last name.

We truly didn't become close until after his first deployment.  Before then we were just casually in each others life, walking in and out.  Sometimes we truly didn't know the other person was there until we were retelling the story.  But we knew well of each other and heard stories about each other.

We began to hang out.  It was nice to have someone to talk to, someone to be close to.  I would text him one word, gelato, and he would come over and take me to Cold Stone and over a cup of ice cream I would spill what was bothering me.  It was over these ice cream "dates" and other events that I went from calling him his last name to calling him Nick.

Someone I know casually mentioned Nick needed to grow a pair of balls and ask me out.
Wait!  What?
This guy I've know well over 2 years, someone I called a best friend... he couldn't like me.

And then when I heard it from Nick, I turned around and ran.

I didn't want to loose my best friend.  I was sad, I cried, I mourned...

How naive I was...
I let all the negativity that has been present in my life cloud my vision.
Yes Nick is in the Navy.  Yes I've dated service members before, was even married to one.  As a Commander in the Navy once told me at the beginning of my divorce 'not all service members are bad, you just picked the wrong one'.
Should I turn him away because he is serving our country?  Should I ignore my feelings for him because I'm older than him?  Or should I stop being stupid?

It had been a few days since I had last seen Nick and I asked him to come over.

 He kissed me and cupped my face:

"I know I could be romantic. But last time I attempted you slipped through my fingers. I won't lose you again. Will you go out with me?"

Of course I was snarky to him and said "what to the grocery store?".

I have a boyfriend.  I am fond of him and wouldn't imagine being without him.

You can be happy for me.  Or you can say negative things.  You choose which person you want to be.  I'm going to be the happy one spending time with Nick.

This is our Love Story Part 1. 

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