Monday, January 28, 2013

You can't ask??

I found something funny that was told to me.

I was told I was being judgmental by someone who was judging me. But isn't that how it goes? It's easy to admit that someone else is being judgmental but hard to say 'yes I am'.

This was during an end to a friendship.

And what came out next kinda made me laugh...

'I don't judge you and been defending you. Even when people ask how many times you've been married. Or about your kids.'

Something along those lines.

So here is my thought? Why don't they just ask me? Why hadn't this person asked me?

What is so wrong to ask?

Clearly whomever was asking this now ex-friend of mine had the courage to ask about me to someone who didn't know me (we weren't that close). But couldn't ask me and umm last time I checked I'm the one that knows.

In all honesty does it matter how many times I've been married? Or how many guys I've dated? Or anyone has dated.

One of my sisters is married to her high school sweetheart and has been for like EVER lol. Some people are lucky and find the one they are meant to be with quickly. Others takes some time.

I know of others that have been with their first boyfriend/girlfriend. And yes I know some that have dated a lot to get to their 'love of their life'.

To me it doesn't matter how long it takes. It just matters that you've gotten there.

My blog which I have touched upon is called Miles Behind Me and as my header suggests it's about leaving the bad miles behind me. So wouldn't that suggest that I've had bad things happen to me? Maybe I don't want to rehash them every time someone has a question.

And only my dear closest friends know. My family knows. But why should I tell strangers? People who don't know me. People who aren't my friend. People who are just being nosey.

Before I moved I used volunteer for things. One of those was battered women. Why? Because I've been in one of those relationships. Where I was hit and talked down upon. Where I was abused. So I helped out and volunteered for organizations dealing with battered women. Because I was once there and remembered just how hard it was to admit you were being hit. Just how hard it was to walk away.

And when I moved I said I was leaving it behind me.
It's bad enough when anyone raises a hand to me I flinch. I think I'm going to be hit. That is a side affect. Something I am slowly out growing but when I say SLOWLy I mean slowly. It took Mr. Y a long time to get used to the flinching. A lot of him holding me after I flinched because no he wasn't going to hit me.

So yes I don't want to be asked about it. Because it is something I've been trying very hard to put behind me.

I mean honestly am I going to walk up to you and ask 'hey when you first started dating and had a boyfriend why did that relationship end?' No. Cause that is your business.

I also a while ago stopped blogging about my kids. I've had other bloggers attack my kids. So I deleted all blog posts and pictures of them on my blog. I find it funny when someone finds out I have kids and their reaction. As a mother I want to protect them. As any mother would.

So hi my name is Chelle and no I don't openly discuss certain things. Because those things are near and dear and private. I'm sure you keep some stuff private.

Please remember that.

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